Bonding & Leadership With Horses – Carolyn Resnick

If you lead in the moment a horse feels a companionship connection, it inspires a horse to follow your lead like music inspires a dancer to dance.

I have focused my life on figuring out how to get a horse to accept my friendship as strong as the friendship he shares with other horses. From studying herd behavior, I have gained this connection by getting a horse to accept me as a family member and trusted companion. Not that he is a part of my family but that I am a part of his. I develop a friendship and trust by communicating with a horse through the daily bonding rituals that I learned from wild horses. From the bonds I developed with wild horses in nature, I discovered that communication with horses was rather easy.

The reason the bond with horses and humans is usually is not as strong as the bond that horses share is that there is a cultural and language gap among other obvious reasons. To bridge this gap, the horse must either be domesticated to our ways or we must follow a horse’s protocol and cultural laws. If we want to create a lasting bond, harmony and order, the key is to follow the protocol and culture of horses. Their protocols are about creating well-being, responsibility, teamwork and unification between the herd and the leader working together. From this, a one-minded connection is achieved. We are drawn to horses like bees to honey and we know it has something to do with their spirit and heart that we would like to experience and have that for ourselves.

To be fair and equitable partners, we must first draw the horse to us to bond like they have drawn us to them and then a true connection can formed. This requires us to wait for a horse to be attracted without any influence other than our presence sitting in his territory. This then comes from a natural process that has not in any way been forced or formulated

What I have generally witnessed is that the horse and human bond is based on the horse knowing he hasn’t any choice in the matter. He will then falsely bond with a human because he feels it is better to do so and there are no other horses around that he can connect with. This formula does not allow for any extemporaneous interplay between the two.

When it is allowed to occur, it creates a true bond. It is a great way to socialize horses to feel good about their relationship with all humans. In the process, your horse learns how to be polite and respectful and accept direction through an inviting process that brings more life experience to a horse.

Being a friend to a horse and taking no leadership position offers no security and is a bit boring to a horse once the initial bond is formed. It is our job to shape the dominant nature of a horse to be social and polite. We do not need to change his dominant nature, we need to bond and offer leadership when he or she wants it. A lead horse that has been chosen allows the followers to control and shape their leadership behavior. When a lead horse is respectful, the follower feels honored and in control of the leadership which brings the follower to feel a loyalty, responsibility, and trust. Both parties shape the other as a way to get to know one another and to be able to create a true working partnership. Horses need to work out a social order to develop deep friendships and horses need freedom of choice in social interactions.

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