Empower Your Partnership With Your Horse By Asking Why

Empower Your Partnership With Your Horse By Asking Why

The horse industry in inundated with a plethora of different ways we can work with our horses. Unfortunately the primary focus is most often on how to do something, not why we do it. Everywhere we look we are offered lessons on “How to” fix whatever problem we may be having. While developing our skills, both on the ground or in the saddle, is an essential part of being a complete horse person it is not the only part. When we learn what to do but forget to ask why we do it we give our power away. We are then constantly in need of someone else to tell us how to be with our horses. This diminishes our capacity as leaders and our ability to stay present with our horses.

By developing some of the areas of horsemanship that are not so commonly discussed we can shift our perspective. We can move from having problems with our horses to consciously communicating with them. In bringing our awareness to these areas we create space for more presence, connection and transformation within our horse/human relationship. Our attention will then shift from solving problems to inspiring learning. Sounds great doesn’t it?

Let’s take a moment to understand why the horse industry focuses so much on the “how”. It’s a competitive industry and I’m not talking about the riders. With the societal expectations of having what we want, and having it now, there is a lot of pressure for horse trainers to teach you and your horse in the same way. Quickly and in seven simple steps! Whether it’s in the show ring or at a natural horsemanship clinic there is pressure for trainers to perform, provide quick fixes and give a guarantee that your horse will end up just the way you want it. This is what I believe to be the epidemic behind drugging, abuse and the high volume of mistreated horses. I’m not simply blaming the trainers. Every horse lover needs to learn to look at their partnership from the perspective of a lead mare. First and foremost our job is to be 100% invested in the safety and survival of each member of our herd. Within this safety and survival I’m not just talking about physical wellbeing. This includes emotional, social and spiritual wellbeing too.

I’m all about a solution so let’s get to a quick perception shift. This will get you on your way to being the lead mare your horse needs you to be. There are many ways to work with a horse. I can’t even begin to count all the different methods just in the natural horsemanship industry. Each trainer has their way of doing it, their “how to” when it comes to being a good partner. But for you to be a lead mare in your own right you need to understand why. Why is this lesson important on this day, in this moment, for this horse? Why is this horse reacting this way? Why I am reacting this way? And finally there is a big what. What will be the underlying message this horse takes away from this lesson?

Empower Your Partnership With Your HorseI’ll give you an example. Today I helped a client with a very large (literally 18hh), 4 year old, Warmblood gelding. The temperature had dropped significantly and he hadn’t been worked in a few days. She led him into the ring and he was very fresh. Two horses right beside the ring were playing, bucking and galloping along the fence line. Our original plan had been for her to get on and ride but we decided to spend some time on ground work first. Why? Because he was leaping around and rearing as she led him. The most important lesson in this moment was him learning to control his body even if he was feeling frisky. So the lesson for the day became about him controlling his body while being led, as well as lunged at the walk and trot. After some time, and some exploring options on his part, he was able to do this successfully.

So why was this lesson important on this day, for this horse? His behavior affected the safety of the horse/human herd. It was dangerous to his owner in that moment. If it became a habit it had the potential to threaten other humans in the future, and if he behaved that way with certain humans his own safety could also be at risk. Why was he behaving this way? He was fresh and having a hard time controlling himself. He wanted to express himself in the same way with his human friend that he would in his field with other horses. His behavior wasn’t malicious, but it could possibly cause harm to another. Some other horses may have played with him, while others may have put him in his place. We chose to let him know that we weren’t comfortable with that behavior in our presence.

And the underlying message this horse takes away from this lesson? He learned what behavior his owner was and was not comfortable with. He learned that even though he felt like playing he was actually capable of controlling his body. He learned that escalating the behavior did not intimidate his owner. He learned that it actually was more comfortable for him when he settled into quiet work. He also learned that although he did not get to play in that moment he did get turned out with his friend, who likes to play with him, immediately after his lesson.

The truth is there are many different ways these underlying messages could have been learned. “How” we taught it to him was flexible. There are a variety of methods that could have inspired the same or similar learning. We used what works best for us. However, the important lesson was that he was able to be treated like a conscious, sentient being that is capable of connecting on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.

In another post I will take you through a few of the check points I take into consideration during all my horse/human interactions. Please let me have your comments below. Thank you!

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About the author

Jodine Carruthers

Jodine Carruthers is an Equine Behaviour Specialist and the founder of Harmonious Horsemanship. A lifelong horsewoman, she has dedicated her career to empowering and improving the lives of horses and humans through education, communication, and the depth of connection found through her teachings. Jodine has extensively researched human dynamics and neuroscience, and is an expert in horse psychology, equine body language, inter-species communication, and healing equine trauma. By combining this knowledge with her passion and innate understanding of personal growth and experiential learning, Jodine has created the one of a kind teachings offered by Harmonious Horsemanship


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